We can use Tarot to generate all kinds of energy in our lives including self-love. Remember, you don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are—and that’s why feeling uplifted and with a high vibration is so important in creating good relationships or any other good in your life. Self-love creates that high vibration.
Love begins with loving yourself, it’s about accepting and respecting yourself. The longest and most important relationship you have is the one with yourself, yet sadly it’s the one we often pay the least attention to.
However, if you don’t love and respect yourself why should anyone else? If you don’t love yourself, you’ll project your lack of love and your neediness onto others. It’s a recipe for becoming clingy and pushing others away, attracting the wrong kind of relationships and friendships, people pleasing, being taken advantage of, or even ending up in abusive relationships.
And it’s much more reliable giving yourself love, than seeking it from someone else. No one person can possibly meet all your needs. In our culture we expect way too much from romantic relationships. So before you seek out your Prince or Princess, fill your heart with love for yourself first. Then you’ll spend a lot less time kissing frogs.
I’ve recently been trying one approach which is to ask the Tarot every day for at least a week, what do I love about myself?” Draw a card, then spend a few minutes journaling about what you love and appreciate about yourself based on this card. Start each sentence with I love…
As an example, last week I drew Temperance which is all about balance and healing and moderation. My journal entry about that is below.
Temperance - I love my healing energy, and my ability to bring other people into balance and a greater sense of harmony and authenticity in their lives through the work I do with Tarot, hypnotherapy, Reiki, and just being around and talking with people.
I love that over time I’m experiencing a greater sense of authenticity in my life, which is not always easy because I’m having to balance different energies and outlooks all the time. I love that while most of my life I’ve been hypervigilant, looking out for danger, at the same time I’ve continued to push forward to trust myself and others more, and allowed myself to be vulnerable and uncomfortable to move forward.
I love that I’ve been able to go deep within to better understand and sometimes resolve the inner conflicts I have, and I’m grateful I’ve been able to heal myself and that others trust me to help them with their healing journeys. And I love that because of the healing journey I’ve been on I know so many different tools that I can use to help myself and others.
OK, well that wasn’t too bad, it only took a few minutes, and it made me feel good about myself and deepened my understanding of Temperance.
But the universe loves to test us, the next day the card was the Three of Swords. What’s there to love about the Three of Swords which is all about heartbreak? Quite a lot as it turned out and it took me on a deeper healing journey than Temperance did.
It began with this journal entry. One of the things I love about myself is that I will eventually after some evasion, face up to my difficult emotions and experience and release them. And I love that I take others through healing their difficult emotional experiences as well. I love for example that through regular Reiki self-healing I healed my long-standing anger issues. I love that as part of this healing process I became more assertive.
However, as the Three of Swords shows us, challenging emotions don’t often come singly. What I discovered in the past was under my anger was fear and under fear was the emotional pain of grief and sadness coming from feelings of being unloved, rejected, abandoned and unwanted. Exactly as I felt when I was left at boarding school by my family, which surfaced again with the Three of Swords. And while I’d healed the anger the sadness was still there.
These feelings started to surface again and unfortunately, I couldn’t make the time to do any effective healing work or emotional processing that day. I felt sad for a couple of days, and that was leading to emotional eating to avoid my feelings.
One of the many things I love about the Tarot is the healing insights it provides, and it really works well with other healing techniques. I have just started to learn a new healing approach – EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or tapping. So I did some tapping on being dropped off at boarding school for the first time. All the old familiar feelings of rejection and being unloved came up and were released.
However, one that thought that appeared that I hadn’t encountered or released before, was the thought that there must be something wrong with me and that’s why I was sent to boarding school. So I released that too. After all no one is inherently wrong.
Again I felt good about myself which is the point of cultivating self-love, and several days later it still feels that the negative emotional charge with that memory has gone for good, which my pendulum has confirmed.
Self-love heals and improves every aspect of our lives. American bestselling author Louise Hay said: “After years of counselling with clients and conducting hundreds of workshops and intensive training programs around the world, I found there is only one thing that heals every problem, and that is to know how to love yourself. When people start to love themselves more each day, it’s amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve, or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin.”
When you love yourself unconditionally, you accept, respect, and appreciate everything that makes you who you are, including your faults. You feel good about yourself and expect and welcome a life of happiness. That includes attracting and creating more fulfilling and loving relationships with others. It means being able to give and receive love without attachment or expectation.
Wow, that’s quite an ask. And of course we aren’t saints, we are imperfect human beings. So I’m not asking you to love yourself or anyone else perfectly because that’s impossible.
What I am saying is the more you love yourself, the better you feel, and the better your relationships and the rest of your life will work. Most of us would benefit from spending more time taking care of ourselves, whether that’s balancing our money flow, nourishing our body, stretching our minds, connecting with our tribe, or doing something our soul loves. And the Tarot can help us with so many insights on how we can do all of that so much better
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